Negative Self-Talk
I feel like negative self-talk is the story of my life. The negative voices in my head tell me I’m ugly, I’m not smart enough, I’m not talented enough, I’m not worthy of being loved and appreciated. Sadly, when we hear the talk, we tend to surround ourselves with people who validate those negative thoughts.
How many times have we stayed at jobs that don’t appreciate us or value us, how many bad relationships have we managed to get into time and time again, how many dreams have slipped through our fingers because of those words “You can’t do it.”
The words seem to manifest as true as we associate with people who treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us.
When the world seems to validate the lies, it makes the painful lies sink in even deeper and appear as truth. Maybe your own family and those you love the most say and do things that encourage that lie as well.
Aa a result of my inability to love myself, I found myself in one abusive relationship after another. Those people drove in deeper and deeper, my feelings of self-doubt and my lack of worth or talent. One thing about abusive people, is they are more than happy to validate your feelings of unworthiness.
Job environments can become like an abusive co-dependant relationship. You try and try to earn their respect and no matter what you do and no matter how hard you work, they don’t see your value, and in fact, they demean you almost the same as a dysfunctional relationship does.
I think the reason for this is NOT because we are invaluable, but instead, because we live in a sick fallen world and the last thing Satan wants, is for us to be who Christ created us to be.
Satan the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. John 10:10
There are just simply people in this world who strive on keeping other people down. They are also stuck in a cycle and will never see the full potential in their life of who God created them to be or their talent nor will their ministries reach full potential.
We truly will never see our full potential until we are willing to let go of the thoughts that keep us separate from Gods voice.
In my abusive relationships, I felt like I was dying from the inside out. At one point, my hair was falling out, I weighed about 100 pounds, and was shaking from the stress of never being good enough and the fear of being yelled at or hit. Until finally that voice called out of the darkness and said, “You ARE enough because I Jesus, am enough and I am all you need.”
So, Christ gave me a way out. He provided a way of escape for the sure death I was going to see if I stayed. But was that the end of my cycle of negative thoughts? Oh no. Satan won’t let go of his grip that easy.
I have spent years battling the fear of standing up for myself, fear of being all I can be in Christ, that constant voice telling me I’m not good enough and the world validating it and making sure I know that I am not good enough.
Funny thing is, this world is filled with people who are eager to let us down, bring us down and keep us down. No shortage there. Look at the world around us today. Abusive and controlling behavior surrounds us. We don’t even feel like we can speak our own thoughts without being punished in some way. There has never been a time in my life where I have seen the world so fearful about what they say, what they think, what they wear.
Do you think all this fear, jealousy and anger comes as a surprise to God? Nope, nothing comes as a surprise to God:
John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 not only gives us insight into this fallen world of strife, but also gives us the ANSWER to the problems. Yes, the answer is Jesus. When we allow him to lift our sunken heart to his heart, we are renewed, we are strengthened, we are re-created from the inside out.
Truth is, the world may never find us good enough, we may be cast out, but Christ says, We are a pearl, we are his children, we are the ones he loved so much, that he took our sins that killed him upon that cross.
Yes my friend, we are good enough BECAUSE of the goodness of Christ. We find our true strength, grit and identity in Christ alone. All else in the world will leave us empty and hungry, Yet Christ comes in and fills that void of heartache, emptiness, anger, bitterness, and he creates that NEW heart in us!
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Prayer: God in heaven, Thank you Lord for taking my weakness and using them as strengths! For turning something into good that was meant for bad! Lord, you are the amazing healer and I thank you for dying for my sins. I lay my sins and weakness down at your feet and I ask you to transform my life into your character and fill me with your righteousness. Thank you Jesus, in your name we pray, Amen.